Neo's Happy Funtime Land
by Neo the Saiyan angel
Summary: One author's desire to twist the KPverse to her own image is shown in her writing of a single episode. Does it make sense? No. How could someone be so cruel to canon?
1. Getting the Story Started

_Neo's Happy Funtime Land_

**WARNING:** **This is a self-insert story mixed with the selfish desires of one author as well as their incredibly biased interpretation of the show. Read at your own risk.**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Kim Possible or anything related to it. If I did, however, I think it would go something like this…

* * *

"Give it up, Drakken!" the teen heroine cried to her stubborn, completely incompetent arch-foe Doctor Drakken. "I've obviously beaten you with no help from anyone else even though I couldn't invent anything even if my life depended on it, which it usually does, and I keep getting in trouble without someone to watch my back. Lucky for me, I use the inventions of someone I never give credit to besides the occasional 'You rock, Wade!' and my BFBF has such a low self-esteem that he chalks it all up to me anyway."

"Darn it! I'm failing again. Oh well, I'll have my obviously more talented sidekick fight them for no real reason since I have no chance of ever succeeding. Shego! Get to it!" the bumbling blue scientist screamed at his beautiful green martial arts master genius of common sense sidekick.

"Ya know I only stay your sidekick because I love mocking your incompetence and watching you fail every time we try to win. Of course, I don't actually tell you how ta improve your chances of winning because that would upset the paradigm that the show has established," she replied to her employer.

"Oh! Your big, funny words hurt my college dropout head!" Drakken said, grabbing his head and drooling a bit.

"The paradigm? It's responsible for everything! After all, how else do you explain me managing to get my best friend since forever to fall in love with me?" Ron said, grabbing his BFGF and hugging her. "I mean, it does happen in real life, but for it to happen with us in a moment of terrible betrayal from a former boyfriend that was actually a fake person created by our arch-foe, which happens to be you, makes little sense unless it's all part of the grand scheme. Or the fact that with all of your crazy, outlandish plans with the silly machines, you never seem to come very close to a victory and no one gives you credit? Or how about the fact that I somehow was a better evil genius than you when I was infected with your evil aura?"

"Stop it! It hurts!" Drakken howled as he started to bleed from the ears.

"What? Saying 'aura'?"

"No! The word 'the'! It's too complicated to understand! Oh no, I used it! The pain!"

"Well-"

-CLICK-

Neo turned her television off in disgust. They weren't even trying to hide it anymore! The blatant disrespect of Drakken as well as the abuse Shego kept throwing at Drakken for no apparent reason and K/R love was just too much for the Midwestern girl to take anymore. She had to do something about it. Or else who knows? They might have Drakken stop trying to take over the world and do the most reprehensible thing ever to occur in the history of evil: he could go good.

The very thought sent shivers through Neo's spine. What could she do to save the show she cherished so, as well as the character that she loved to watch? Slowly, a plan began to come together in the brain of the college eventually-graduate. It was so evil that she was certain that showing her face in the forums again would result in an instant mob complete with pitchforks and rocks. However, she could only stand so much abuse of her favorite character. So what if she was going to get strung up by the K/R fans? It was going to happen eventually. Why not have it happen doing something where she would gladly yell, "I regret nothing!" just before getting thrown into the signal tower from 'So the Drama'? It IS the KPverse she was dealing with, after all. The humans can't die; they just get removed by random plot devices.

-:-:-:Disney studios:-:-:-

The writers were hastily working on the next episode of Kim Possible. This time, they were going to have Drakken try to take over the world by threatening to use a laser pointer on his eyes until he was blind. They were also trying to add some more witty remarks from Shego and even more Kim worship. Of course, they were throwing in a couple of pants-losing antics from the hero's sidekick, but that's just a given. And after Drakken loses his eyesight, they were going to have Shego play 'keep away' with the cure for blindness which she conveniently had in her pocket while Kim and Ron decided that they were so perfect a couple that they should go on a world tour as they solved all the problems that ever existed in the history of ever. Suddenly, the loudspeaker in the room came to life.

"Ladies and gentlemen…and whatever else that's in there. I'm afraid that the show has been cancelled, so now you're all fired. Leave now before we unleash the dogs on you," a familiar voice said. Apparently, there were actual dogs that could be unleashed because there was much screaming to be had as well as a rush for the exit, with one man crying, "Not the dalmatians again! Please!" as he ran out of the door.

After a few minutes, Neo snuck into the room. She noticed what the episode was that they were working on and gave a snort of disgust. A sneer came to her face as she tore the story to shreds and threw it like confetti around the room. Checking the room for anyone that lingered, she eventually decided that it was safe and picked the computer station with the least Kim Possible (the character) paraphernalia.

"Now then, it's time to establish the Neodigm!" she cackled as she brought up Microsoft Word and started typing.

After a few hours, she wiped her brow and declared it finished. She looked over her masterpiece and smiled, knowing that now the world would know her idea of the perfect Kim Possible outcome. She was a bit worried that it may earn her a tarring and feathering, but as long as people remembered that they could write their own Happy Funtime Lands, she should be safe. Sighing a little as she remembered the episode that the writers had originally come up with, Neo sent it to the animator's inbox and left, making sure to grab some Drakken items on her way out.

* * *

**Notes from the Author:**

Does Neo dare to continue the story? Will the K/R fans string her up and roast her? And what of the Shego fans? Will they want a piece as well? Why is Neo referring to herself in third person? Will the horribly short first chapter be her undoing? Will the abuse of the word 'paradigm' go unpunished? And does anyone actually care about this? Stay tuned to find out!


	2. The Opening Sequence

-:-:-:Neo's House, A Few Months Later:-:-:-

Neo was very excited. Today was the day that the episode that she had made was going to be shown. She just couldn't wait! Now the KPverse was molded to her vision. Now everything made sense. Well, to her, anyway. She turned the television on just in time to hear the announcer say that Kim Possible was coming up next. At that moment, she just had to wonder what all of the other Kim Possible fans were thinking. Probably trying to guess what the episode was.

'I bet none of them thought it would be like this,' Neo thought. An evil smirk graced her face as she kept the urge to let herself have an evil laughing session down. The scene finally began and Neo stopped thinking, instead deciding to focus on the episode that was about to be shown.

-:-:-:KPverse, in the High School:-:-:-

The scene faded in with the usual shot of students milling around in the hallways. That girl in blue was talking to the guy in green with the swoopy brown hair while random students that most people would think should be recognizable after so many seasons and yet weren't chatted here and there. Kim was at her locker getting some books out when Ron came running down the hallway, bumping into people while waving his arms wildly and screaming, "KKIIIIIIMMM!"

"What's wrong, BFBF?" Kim asked, putting her books back.

"FLYING MONKEY! There's a FLYING MONKEY COMING!" Ron shouted for no apparent reason other than to make it so that everyone in the surrounding tri-city area knew there was a flying monkey coming.

"Ron, are you sure that it's not just Frederick or something?" she asked as she pulled the books out again.

"I'm SURE," Ron said, nearing a state of hysteria as he grabbed her by the shoulders and started shaking her. "It's a MONKEY! And it's FLYING! FLYING MONKEYS!"

Barkin suddenly appeared out of nowhere as he always does and began one of his random, boring speeches. Like always. Because that's what a teacher does, right?

"Hey people, I thought I said NO PDF!" he yelled. "There's a reason for these rules. If we didn't have them, there would absolute pandemonium and the world's economy would fall. Then the aliens would come with their scanning devices and do the hokey-"

"BARKIN! It's FLYING MONKEYS!" Ron continued with his freakout.

"What? Flying monkeys?" Barkin said. "Stoppable, did you get into the Lunch Lady's special sauce again?" As he was saying that, Kim put her books away.

Suddenly, the roof of the school started shaking. This, of course, made everyone start to panic, because there's nothing else that would help them except for panicking. Barkin screamed like a little girl and assumed the fetal position while Ron ran in circles and Kim assumed a fighting pose. Since nothing that would shake the school could be a good thing. The roof then came flying off and down from the sky floated a person.

This was the most absolutely gorgeous person to ever descend from the sky in a ball of wrathful golden fire. Her long, golden hair swayed about her face in such a way that anyone that saw her would swoon. Except anyone that saw her would have their eyes burned out from her glorious aura. Her face was the most heavenly sight that anyone could have ever imagined and her clothes were just absolutely perfect for anything. The golden tail encircled her waist had just the right amount of fur on it to be sublimely beautiful and her large, bright white wings were almost beyond angelic. The graceful fingers of her right hand had small scars from what could have been from poorly fitted rings and she had a small mole on her right shoulder that-

"Okay! We get it! The character's absolutely amazing, the description is detailed yet vague, and you can't get yelled at for a poor imagination," Kim growled as she pulled her books out again. "What kind of OC are you, anyway?"

The girl toned down the aura and floated down to the ground. Barkin screamed something about probes and scurried into one of the classrooms that were shown in the screens but were never actually used. Before he made it all the way, though, the girl snapped her fingers and his hair became a blonde color.

"Uh…why did you do that?" Kim asked as she put her books back again…again.

"I liked his hair better in the first few episodes," she said with a shrug.

"OH NO!! It not only flies and glows, but it CHANGES HAIR COLOR, TOO! Oh, and it talks…" Ron said.

She rolled her eyes at Ron and sighed. "If you didn't notice, kiddo, I have a chest. That usually indicates that I'm female, ya know."

"OCs can't do that. Who…are you?" Kim asked again.

"Oh, I'm sorry, forgive my crappy manners. I just don't care about your feelings," the girl said. "I'm Neo. Neo the Saiyan angel. I'm the author of this episode."

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

Another short chapter. I'm so lazy. Oh, thanks to MaceEcam for taking a look at this before I posted.

Will the people reading this finally realize that Neo's incredibly lazy? Why in the world is the author wandering onto the set and glowing? Does anyone here know why or how a Saiyan is wandering onto the set in the first place? Will Barkin dye his hair back to brown? And why hasn't Ron gone to counseling for his monkey phobia yet? If you can tolerate this and can brave the pain, go ahead and stay tuned for more attempts at sarcasm and parody.


End file.
